Transformers: The Movie

Last night a few of us from the gym decided to get the hell out of Sunpaliang and go and see a movie at the mall, also called Central Airport Plaza (a magical sounding place, I think you'll agree).

Anyway, like a child who has spent long weeks locked in a cupboard under the stairs with nothing but a book about antidisestablishmentarianism to read, and no company beyond that of a small, unhealthy hedgehog called Bert, I was terribly excited by all the bright shiny lights and flashing things, and jingly noises which emanated from the various games machines and shops in evidence. However, since the movie wasn't actually on until 10.20, and as we arrived at 8.30 and the mall shut at 9, we had very little to do in that palace of wonders for an hour or so, but eventually, however, the time passed, and the hour of wonder drew near: a movie! In English! With *colour*!

And we weren't disappointed. How could we be? They're *robots*....

.... and they're IN DISGUISE!

Obviously, the plot was.... shaky, and to call it far-fetched wouldn't even do it justice, what with it being about a race of alien robots.... IN DISGUISE! But none of that matters a jot. The special effects rocked the Casbah: the robots transform and fight and move in a way that made me feel like I was 7 again and watching the cartoon movie for the first time. It was exciting, slick, funny and can only really be done justice by the big screen and a healthy dose of Dolby Surround Sound with sub woofers.

Now, it *is* a Spielberg movie, so it's not without its issues - there's alot of Optimus Pride based sentimentality about his duty to protect the fledgling human race, and no small amount of American war propaganda, with American soldiers proclaiming "All I want is to see my little girl again" as they tenderly care for the small Arab boy who, of course, has befriended them. I mean, why wouldn't he?! *All* Arabs in war zones just love the Americans, and likewise, all American soldiers are brave, fine, upstanding young family-men who wouldn't hesitate to lay down their lives for small children and alien races. Obviously. It's America.

Anyway, those irritations aside, it's well worth watching, and from my admittedly hazy memory of the original cartoons, it does the story justice. Just remember, none of those other things matter, because they're fucking cool robots....

IN DISGUISE!