Masochism

You get it into your head, as you do, periodically, that you are ugly.

Man-ish.

If you weren't married you'd be single forever.

You present about as much threat to other women as a suicidal chinchilla does to a shark.

You decide chocolate is probably the answer to this problem.

You wonder - "Could this be how I got a weight problem....?"

You eat the chocolate anyway.

And so the cycle continues.